A rare but growing demographic you will see in the U.S. are black women dating white men. Let’s give homage to the beauty of all the onyxes with their pearls, and all the sweet cocoa and vanilla cookies sweetening up the world. Yes, it all starts with going out there and dating white men, but it can lead to good solid matrimony.
Many of us in the interracial coupling community are aware of the jaw-dropping statistics that white men and black women marriages are 40% less likely to divorce after seven years. There’s been a lot of speculation about why this is, but one reason that perhaps needs more exploration is the compatibility factor based on cultural norms on how to one gender treats are conditioned to treat the other. In short, white men are raised to promote, protect, and cater to the needs of their women. Conversely, black women are conditioned to promote, protect and cater to the needs of their men. In each case, there’s growing frustration from white men and black women in what some deem as an imbalance and lack of reciprocity. It’s for this reason that white men and black women make a good match.
Not only are black women marrying white men because they make a beautiful match, but their marriages also work. Let’s discuss.
Why Black Female and White Male Marriages Work
Interracial couples are usually made up of two very open-minded people. This helps on the one hand because the couple has different backgrounds and such a match requires understanding, but on the other hand because the nature of marriage requires tolerance and respect for differences at all levels.
White men that go for black women REALLY go for black women: In other words, white husbands are crazy for their black wives. Robert DeNiro, for example, has always had a chocolate tooth, dating everyone from Tookie Smith to his wife Grace Hightower. Black-loving white men like the skin colour, the hair, the lips, the souls, the backgrounds, and the hearts. We are not saying that cheating is impossible, but white women usually aren’t on their radar, and chances are your black female friends aren’t looking to date white men.
Black Women and White Men stick together: Even in today’s world, interracial couples get dirty looks, middle fingers, and negative comments thrown at them. When it’s you two against the world, you feel bonded and highly dependent on each other for support. And that is a good thing.
You aren’t likely to get bored: When your backgrounds are so different, you will find that there is a lot more to uncover, learn, and appreciate than if you married someone of the same race. You will have different foods, languages, ideas, beliefs, and sometimes even religions between you. There is a world of wisdom to uncover in your opposite, and that makes for an exciting life together.
A rare gem is hard to replace: Because your bond is partially based on a rare coming together of differences and beauty, chances are you will stick it out because such a connection is hard to find and replicate. Yes, black women dating white men take walks down the aisle every day, but not to the extent that people in same-race relationships do. So if you love your black woman, or if you love your white man, you no doubt desire to keep them and cherish them forever.
What tends to be some common traits of black-woman, white-man marriages?
• These marriages tend to reflect the tone of traditional American marriages:
• The white husband tends to be protective, somewhat dominant, and a primary-to- comparable wage earner.
• The black wife tends to be very feminine and submissive, and a comparable-to-secondary wage earner.
• Interracial couples with a white husband and black wife have the lowest divorce rates.
• Interracial marriages are more common the higher the education level and the higher education level correlate with fewer divorces.
• Since white people tend to earn more (on average) than black people, and men tend to earn more than a woman (also on average), Black White relationships would tend to have the highest wage disparity favouring the husband (that is, the husband earns much more than his wife).
Black white dating is nothing new, but it isn’t a topic that gets delved into often. Some may think that because it’s 2017 we in the United States should be past racial confusion and prejudice. But the racial divisions in this country are deep-rooted and significant changes didn’t occur until only 50 years ago. Interracial marriage was illegal in many states until 1967. Think about that for a moment. That is the generation of most of our parents and grandparents.
Pairing happens in all ways and certainly in colours too. Even this insanely divisive period we’re going through in the United States can’t reverse the interracial relationship advances that are surely here to stay. Black women looking for white men isn’t the only diverse duo out there, but it’s something to chat about if you’ve ever been in that type of relationship. Aside from the historical separation of black people and white people, there are a few barriers you should get out of the way in the present just so you’re on the same page (and not one from an American history book).
The stares won’t stop and the judgments will be hard at times, but you have to remember there was a time when the two of you together was unfathomable. But don’t let that serve as an excuse: People should get over it. But even if they don’t, you have your own life to live.
“Relationships last longer when nobody knows your business.”
Again, there are a million types of relationships out there, and there’s no harm in laughing at the little things that need to be explained. Everyone’s human experience is different. So, if you’re a black woman and you have been with, or are currently with a white man. Simply don’tbother About the outside world. Do whatever you want to do, but don’t trouble your mother. Start your dating journey now, don’t wait any longer.